Friendship that was never there.

This is rather recent… but it saddens me every time i think about it.

So this person… lets call it “L” like deathnote lol… have been adventuring with me for pretty long… in fact quite long. I thought everything was cool… our friendship was really deep at one point, to the stage where we mail stuff to each other. Stuff went pretty well until some shit happened… and it all starts with Salvage.

So when we all join Lagsave… both of us were on the same line of equipment, all 5 pieces. Since L was my good friend, I didn’t wanna be at a point where I have to lot against my good friend. So I’ve decided to take a break, or step out of Salvage while L gets 1-2 of the pieces out of the way. I was going to wait a bit longer but.. Jackalman said if I don’t start coming to Salvage… I will be removed from the priority list. So my “good intension” ended there. I never told L.. but was just something I’d do behind a friend.. not only to avoid conflict, but just to see L in pretty stuff, was my way of helping a friend, was also my way of supporting a friend and making L happy.

So I started going to Salvage again, non stop… even after taking a break, my attendance is now way ahead of most people including L… what does this mean? That break that I took wasn’t because I cannot attend, but was for good intension. But apparently.. my luck isn’t as good as many others, in fact.. horrible. I just got my FIRST PIECE of Salvage gear… after 120 (one-hundred and twenty plus) runs. This is with the help of Olorin passing for me. He saw me having nothing after 120 runs (nothing = 0/5 Morrigan Piece completed), and decided to help me out. He didn’t know me… nor did I.. but a stranger.. someone that I don’t know.. decided to pass for me. I was touched of what he did.

He is a really nice person for sure, with a good heart.

—

Now the reason I was happy but sad about this is… this piece that I got… could have been mines 40 runs ago. What happened was.. the shoe dropped… and it was lotting between L and Mai. With no questions asked, L … who I thought was my best friend, is not willing to say a word, do anything nor ask a question but lotted WITH ME in my face. That was what broke my heart. Someone who I’ve done so much for, didn’t care about my feelings and just lotted infront of my face. Why? L once said these things to me…

• “I only play FF because you still play”
• “If you quit, I’d quit too”
• “I’d even follow you if you transfer server”
• “I am still in Duck because… I want to help you and be with you, see I never even lotted any Homam”

All this… sweet talking and lotting over me… and L didn’t even bother asking me or even trying to “fake” some shit like eg. “Aww u haven’t gotten anything yet, do you want me to pass for you?” honestly, I would have said no, but the fact that someone ask you something like that shows you friendship was there.. but no.. never happened. Lotted, not a single word after only shows me L’s friendship never excited. Loot Whoring got to L’s mind and… just out of control.

It saddens me how loot can flip a person, from a friend to someone I now I don’t even want to talk to. Not only L is someone lotting stuff OVER me (even though you consider me such a “so call” good friend which you’ll quit ffxi for), but the fact that L says “I am here in duck to help you and haven’t lotted any other shit eg. Homam”, but “lotting everything else in the linkshell that’s got to offer OTHER than Homam” only shows me L was nothing but a bunch of lie and lip service. Reminds me of Ron Paul… lip service…

The other part about L was also the run skewing part. So much EMO happened at the back… just so there was more Salvage run scheduled than normal just to get L’s pieces done. So okay.. it was completed. But L never thought about the gil required to make it… and let those 3 pieces sat there for ages… selfish and greedy if you ask me.

I really wish the person that passed for me was L, and not Olorin. But this incident made me realize the friendship between L and I… was never there… that’s what Internet is all about.