{"id":595,"date":"2008-08-21T14:22:27","date_gmt":"2008-08-21T19:22:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.staronion.com\/maiev\/nfblog\/?p=595"},"modified":"2010-07-14T03:18:37","modified_gmt":"2010-07-14T08:18:37","slug":"world-of-warcraft-live-in","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.staronion.com\/maiev\/nfblog\/?p=595","title":{"rendered":"World of Warcraft live-in"},"content":{"rendered":"

WTF is this? Read it here or here<\/a>. (In case its taken off, here it is below)<\/p>\n

Thanks Cloud for the News rofl!
\nPS: I think I’m a pretty good fit for the posting xD!<\/p>\n

World of Warcraft live-in – 27 (Charlotte)
\nReply to: pers-802772358@craigslist.org
\nDate: 2008-08-18, 9:55PM EDT<\/p>\n

I am looking for someone who wants to live and breathe World of Warcraft. Basically you play my World of Warcraft characters and I provide food\/shelter.<\/p>\n

Objective:
\nRanked #1 in PvP and PvE. It is hard to rank PvE, but if we obtain the very best gear\/enchants I will deem it #1. Basically, everyone will know our name and fear it (in-game character name). There is a timetable on this operation, but no need to worry about that at this time.<\/p>\n

Requirements:
\n1. Asian. obviously the superior ethnic group when coming to playing games
\n2. Quiet. Basically you don’t exist. You can’t have friends or make phone calls. And when my friends come over, I don’t want them thinking I am weird because I have this Asian freak playing a video game in my house 24\/7. Extra bonus* awarded if you are a mute.
\n3. Slim Build. If you are fat you won’t fit into the living space I have had personally designed for this endeavor. I also can’t afford to feed a fat ass.
\n4. Celibate. I expect you not to fuck the breathing holes I have made for you in your ‘temple of light’. I also will not be refreshing your supply of tissues every week.
\n5. Family. Rather lack there of. You either disown them*, kill them or they are already deceased.<\/p>\n

*Bonus (obviously you don’t get both)
\na) Ability to go outside for 10 minutes, once a week. This must be during the week and at 2 am – 3 am.
\nb) You pick one of your meals each week.
\nc) You can shower one day a week.<\/p>\n

*Disown them
\na) Tell them you are gay.
\nb) Tell them you fantasize about having sex with them all.
\nc) Tell them you are committing suicide.<\/p>\n

SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY.<\/strong> Don’t waste your time or mine. This is a very serious offer and one lucky person will be living the dream.<\/p>\n

On a related note there may be an opening for a Warhammer Online live-in soon. Check back for details.<\/p>\n

* Location: Charlotte
\n * it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests<\/p>\n

PostingID: 802772358<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WTF is this? Read it here or here. (In case its taken off, here it is below) Thanks Cloud for the News rofl! PS: I think I’m a pretty good fit for the posting xD! World of Warcraft live-in – 27 (Charlotte) Reply to: pers-802772358@craigslist.org Date: 2008-08-18, 9:55PM EDT I am looking for someone who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,1814],"tags":[1300],"class_list":["post-595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-world-of-warcraft","category-wow-humor","tag-nobody"],"yoast_head":"\nWorld of Warcraft live-in - the StarOnion - FFXI Fenrir to FFXIV Excalibur<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.staronion.com\/maiev\/nfblog\/?p=595\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Maiev\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Maiev\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/765f24c8c43826a950220ed43e985153\"},\"headline\":\"World of Warcraft live-in\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-08-21T19:22:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-07-14T08:18:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595\"},\"wordCount\":403,\"commentCount\":2,\"keywords\":[\"nobody\"],\"articleSection\":[\"World of Warcraft\",\"WoW Humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.staronion.com\\\/maiev\\\/nfblog\\\/?p=595\",\"name\":\"World of Warcraft live-in - 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